English Satire : Whom Shall I Vote in Coming Uttarakhand Assembly Election?

Satire and Fatkar

                 Whom Shall I Vote in Coming Uttarakhand Assembly Election?

                                                         Bhishm Kukreti

                                           

         Since last election of Uttarakhand  results were declared , M.S Mehta  of Mera pahad .com, Purnendu Chauhan of Young Uttaranchal/Uttarakhand, Chandra Shekhar Joshi of Himalay Log.com  , many newspaper journalist friends and my own friends have been asking me  whom I shall vote in the coming election of 2012. My above friends will be happy now, that I could open my silence but others will comment that I am blowing my own trumpet. Well! I am from marketing that I shall not blow other’s trumpet at all but will blow my trumpet only.

 Till yesterday, they were just reminding me but now calls are pouring to me to declare my choice of political party for Uttarakhand assembly.  Let me tell you the secret:

      I am very much confused as Anna team is confused that now, which party they should believe because from their angle of concern, all politicians are of same feathers or in clear words all politicians are black sheep.   Since, to launch  white sheep politicians (new honest political party ) or to call the real honest politicians for fighting election  is as taking the bit in the teeth, Anna team and myself have to choose better black sheep  from the herd of political  black sheep.

     My first Ghanghtol (Confusion) is whether I should vote the politician for whom politics is bread and butter or I should rely on politicians who just entered into political arena.  In both cases, both candidates have set eyes on the powerful post rather than eying on the causes benefitting the people.  Let me first clear this confusion and then I shall decide whom I should vote.  Both believe in  gold-digging  through political means.

            Second Ghanghtol (puzzlement) is whether independents are worthy to try or let them be happy by losing the election for the sake of making democracy strong or may be making mockery of democracy.

          There is always a  Ghanghtol (riddle) before election’s ‘halchal ‘ starts  whether I should go for according to my Jat (Caste) and follow our oldest and centuries old custom of ‘Kha’ aur ‘B’ ( A fight for power between Rajput and Brahmin ) of Garhwal  or I should show my snobbishness that I am  intellectual and don’t care for Brahmin-Rajput phenomenon. My Ghanghtol (enigma) would be  that if I defy the oldest tradition of Garhwal that is Kha’ aur ‘B’ (A fight for power between Rajput and Brahmin), people of my Brahmin community and even Rajput population will definitely perceive that I only write articles about protecting Garhwali culture and do not practice it. Since, I believe in ‘Mau chhodi deen pan Ganv ni chhodan’ (Leave your brother for community sake), I will not follow the intellectualism.  I always  follow the tradition and will definitely protect our cultural heritage of ‘Kha’ aur ‘B’ ( A fight for power between Rajput and Brahmin ) of Garhwal  . Therefore choice would be Brahmin for me.

    Another Ghanghtol (question) is about whether I should go for a political party or the best candidate. Well! I shall take lesions from my grandfather that a successful person should always go with winning candidate.  Since, I would like to be called a successful person I shall go for winning candidate and I heard not from horse to mouth but watched BBC for that sake and came to from CNN International news channel too that in my area, no independent candidate wins except once Shri Bhairav Datt Dhulia. Since, we believe that BBC or CNN are better news analysts than the people in my area I shall not go for best candidate but will choose from the political parties.   

              There is less Ghanghtol (problem) about Samajvadi Party in my mind. Though Vinod Barthwal is my close relative as he is eldest son of daughter of co-wife (saut) of my mothers’ fufu (father’s sister). Due to being a true Uttarakhand movement agitator, I shall never vote for Samajvadi party, though in turn, Vinod  Barthawal ‘s mother will break relationship  with my mother’s relatives who are poor .

                  Since Bahujan samajvadi party does not have any Pakka agenda for hills of Uttarakhand except changing name of Badrinath into Mahtma Budh or Kedarnath into Budhnath, I shall not think about BSP at all.

                   I came to know from a newspaper (You will not know this weekly as the said paper is published for file purpose that is the paper published only for government advertisement in ten or twelve copies) that there is a Parivartan party.  By name, the party seems to be  fair and square party and I would like to take fancy of Parivartan party but then principle taught by my grandfather (whom his grandfather taught) does not allow me to vote for Parivartan Party as there is hundred percent surety for Parivartan party not only losing the election from my area but losing deposit by its candidate too. My grandfather taught me to be with winning person and not with losing person.

    

                From political point of view I would prefer to vote and canvas for Uttarakhand Kranti Dal as UKD is my first love.  For an Uttarakhand movement agitator, Uttarakhand Kranti Dal is always first love. I heard speeches of late Dr D.D. Pant, K.S. Airi, under the banner of UKD in Mumbai I heard the false speeches of minister of Uttarakhand Divakar Bhatt in Garhwal Darshan Mumbai and supported late Arjun Singh Gusain for his election campaign as Uttarakhand Kranti Dal member of parliament candidate though in principle, I was against that late Gusain ji should take part in election.  However, Kranti dal is a party of past and not of future, though, nothing is impossible in political arena.  Therefore, I shall not vote for UKD though, it is still my first love in politics.  I shall not go for losing party as taught by my grandfather whom his grandfather taught not to be with losing side at all.

    Congress can balance every sects of India. Now the chance of my voting to Congress is very bleak because I will never encourage dynasty practices in democracy.  The democracy was chosen by people to stop dynasty provision and if I vote for Congress I shall definitely be against the basic principle of democracy. To save the principles of Democracy, I shall not vote for congress candidate who may be a Brahmin of my cast level.

   Now, there is only one political party left in the fray and that is Bhartiy Janta Party. However, I can’t think to vote Bhartiy Janta Party as its game is up about Ram Mandir and its play of double game about

‘The Party with Difference’ is also exposed after it ruled India and in many states including Uttarakhand. Bhartiy Janta Party is very poor copy of Indian National Congress party. I would never vote a party which is poor copy of Congress party.

     Therefore, I shall not go for voting but go outing and will take lunch with Patvari ji who will offer me pork killed by area farmers and various alcoholic drinks got from the agents of various political parties, of course, both would be free.

 Copyright@ Bhishm Kukreti